John Oliver

 

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Jigsaw
Free
Play a game
Free
Hello
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Hello Michael
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Jigsaw's puppet laugh
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Game over
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Let the game begin
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Wake up call
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Still alive
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Well Hello!
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How are you doing?
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Might i have your first name?
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Do you know who I am?
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Col.Nathan R. Jessep (long)
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My name is Warren R Schmidt
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I Own the place
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Everybody works for me!
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When you hear what happed
Free
I have some good news
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I'm going to need you to listen
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I'm going to need you to listen#2
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I'm going to need you to listen#3
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'm going to need you to listen#4
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I'm going to need you to listen#5
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Sarcasim is anger's ungly cosin
Free
I'm a pretty good guy
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Temper is the one thing
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Short laugh
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Watch your mouth!
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Bye Now!
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Yes!
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No!
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I Beg Your Pardon!
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What!
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Thats right!
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Thank you!
Free
Yes I Do!
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This is ridiculous!
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I Don't know!
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O.K!
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What the F@#k
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No problem!
Free
So be it!
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Good!
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You want answers!
Free
You can't handle the truth!
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Are we clear#1
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Are we clear#2
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Are these the questions i was called hear
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You have to ask me nice#1
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You have to ask me nice#2
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Don't i feel like the f@#kin asshole!
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What i do want!
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I'll Answer the Question!
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My answer is!
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i'm a fair guy!
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I want to know what were going to do about this?
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extend me some f@#king courtesy!
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You snotty little bastard!
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I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 cubans!
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Did you ever serve#1
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Did you ever serve#2
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Did you ever serve#3
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Did you ever serve#4
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Son we live in a world
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Son we live in a world#2
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Son we live in a world#3
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Son we live in a world#4
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You will address me as col. or sir
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were not going to have problems are we?
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Do you really want the love of your Life?
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Do you got a girl friend?
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well well well!!
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Goosfrabba
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Goosfrabba#2
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Did you ever think about going back to school?
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Are you a homofobe?
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Not a problem
Free
You got somthing you want to ask?
Free
Tell us about your self#1
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Tell us about your self#2
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Tell us about your self#3
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Tell us about your self#4
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Do you know John lennon?
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When I tell you to dump a body
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When I tell you to dump a body#2
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When I tell you to dump a body#3
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Lets take a walk on the wild side
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Crying for mother
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Jibber Jabber
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I'm wetting My Jockys
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In europe
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How do you feel?
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What is your posion on breast implants?
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ordering breakfast
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I want to tell you somthing#3
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i'm going to kill you
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I'm going to rip the eyes out of your head!
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What do you want to discuss now?
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What kind of unit you running hear?
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You f@#ked with the wrong marine
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what's your name?
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indian sounds
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what's your name son?
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fight a fuck too much
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she was fifteen years old
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she was fifteen years old#2
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she was fifteen years old#3
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she was fifteen years old#4
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i'm a marval of modren science
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i'm hear to corporate with you
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R.P.McMurphy
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were from the state mental institution
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i'm Dr.McMurphy
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the mental defected league
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they were giving me 10 thousand wats a day
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you sly son of a bitch
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were nuts
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captain block
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captain block#2
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I really don't know
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i'll be right down the line with you
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Giggling laughing
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please proceed
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No you don't understand
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I'm a friend of your daughter's
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Honestly
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harry sandbourne how are you
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harry sandbourne
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I'm dating your daugheter
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you were very impressive
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How are ya?
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It was sensational meeting you
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I'm one of the owners of a record company
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drive by recorders
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It's a hip hop lable
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let me see if i get were your headed here
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women your age love that about me
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you know what i mean
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take it easy kids
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we hav'nt have sex yet have we?
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somthing to live for
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Hey
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what's up
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Hey what's up
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have you allways been like this?
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I don't think I ever had this affect on a women
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I don't reconize it
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Sure
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Can I ask you one other thing?
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Just curous
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Never
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You never get hot
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Oh i'm sorry
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God am i sorry
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Just your tits
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I'm actually feeling quite perky today
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Sorry for your trouble
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Listen
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Hey#2
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yes or No what's the deal?
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I saw her naked last night
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Trust me
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I never saw a women that age naked before
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now she's a great chick
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Must take after her father
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I looked you up on the internet
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Hey it's me
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Just sitting arourd
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Everybody is out but old harry
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Old Old Old Harry
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Goodnight
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We are cute
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My dear your confusing sex with sleeping
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What are my choices?
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Pancakes
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Now what i know about you is wright
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try not to rate my ansewer
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Words have been invented for wome like you
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Not at all
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It's a pleasure
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I can't remeber the last time i cried
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I can't remeber the last time i cried#2
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your the funnest girl i ever had sex with
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well i'm a old dog
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I'll like to try sleeping with you
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you are a women to love
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Thank you darling
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What a doll
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slow down you want to kill me
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I have never lied to you
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your killing me
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I need to talk to you
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Got a minute?
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Show time
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thats refreshing
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So i'm nuts
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sometimes worring about you
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yes honey
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Can i e-mail it to you?
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Anyway
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How is that?
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I'm not ready to be your friend
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why is it that you brods want all or nothing?
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death doen't seem hard to you?
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Theyre Here - Poltergiest
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Jaws
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More Attacks - Psycho
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Its alive! - Frankenstien
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Im the devil - The Exorcist
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I have bad news - Hannibal
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The Shining- Here's Johnny!
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Ate his liver
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Old friend for dinner
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Did you breast feed her
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Hear the screaming of the lambs
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Amputate a man's leg
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What became of your lamb
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That's all I can remember
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If you save Katherine
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Thoughened your nipples
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Look like a rube
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Thank you Clarice
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Best thing for him
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Did you nurse Katherine
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Good Evening Clarice
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Toughened your nipples
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Playing tag
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I was way off!
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I like it a...lot
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Playing tag
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Most annoying sound in the world
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I like it a...lot
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I wasn't paying attention
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Loser
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Senior citizens
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I got robbed
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What's the soup du jour?
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Just go man!
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Four inches
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Look at the butt on that one
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Aspen
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Mingling with country folk
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Fired again?
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John Denver
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Flying somewhere?
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Somebody Stop Me!
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Do NOT go in there!
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Ass you a few questions
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Buffed Beautiful & Bitchin'
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Cops check his pants -The Mask
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Dont have the power
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Guy with rubber glove
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Ice Ice Baby Parody
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I likea do the cha cha
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Back to you bleepers
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In other news
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As Andy Kaufman as Latka
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As Andy Kaufman as Tony Clifton
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Austria?
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Don't go dying on me
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We landed on the moon!
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We've got no food
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Alrighty then!
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Number still 911?
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Like a glove
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Clean pair of shorts
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Yummy
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Come to me jungle friends
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Ding, ding
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Borg Introduction
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You Are My Sunshine - 7 of 9
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Enterprise Doors
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Bigotry
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Data's life forms song
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Red Alert
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Enter Access Code
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Authorization denied
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Auto destruct armed
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1 minute to auto destruct
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Intruder Alert !
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Circus
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Engage
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Saving the future
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Make it so
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A good day to die
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Not a Merry man
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Priority 1 Broadband Distress Signal - Powerslave
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Shields up, Red Alert, Fire Phasers - Powerslave
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Smith, Agent Smith
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Never send a human to do a machines job
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Some believed we lacked the language
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Human defines their reality through misery
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A man who calls himself Morpheus
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Human beings are a disease
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I hate this place
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I must get free
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I must get out of here
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This zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever
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What good is a phone call
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You're going to help us
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You've been contacted by a certain individual
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Last chance
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Try to relax
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Touch me
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Why do my eyes hurt
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I think we can handle one little girl
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I give you the finger
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Red or blue?
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Buckle your seatbelt
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Dream
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The Matrix
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They're watching you
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That kick ass song - Propellerheads
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I know Kung Fu
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Gustapo Crap
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Phonecall
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Apologize
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Hope we don't meet again
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My question
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Still dreaming
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That's me
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Trust you
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Who are you?
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Xpander
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Dueling Banjos
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Don't play games
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Do the right thing
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God, help us
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Harder place to get in
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Hillbillies
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I don't believe in insurance
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Part of it
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Rifle cocking and firing
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Squeal
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This is a hell of a time
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This is gonna be fun
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This isn't one of your f_ _king games
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We're lost
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You better run
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You don't beat this river
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You have to lose yourself
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You are my life now
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Different
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How old are you
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Last time you'll ever see me
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My job to protect you
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This may hurt just a little
Free
What the hell were you thinking
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Told me nothing
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What did you do to him
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I'm the wold's most dangerous predator
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I wanted to kill you
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Have a long and happy life with me
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Hold on tight spider monkey
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How long I've waited for you
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Human blood
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I can read minds
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I don't have the strength
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I leave you alone for 2 minutes
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Just stay very still
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Personal brand of heroine
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What do we eat
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What if I'm the bad guy
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You're very difficult to read
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Ladies and gentlemen
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South American drug lord
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Description of Bedford
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Diamond Dog
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He's a fount of misplaced rage
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I drove through 3 states
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I'm DEA
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3 white guys short
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Lost his bladder in the airplane
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Make a move
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No one on this aircraft
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No That's clever
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Cyrus the Virus
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You didn't really mean all that
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AK-47 - Lord of War
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Bored - Face Off
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Hurts - Face Off
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Didn't love you - Face Off
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Bunny - Con Air
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Trust - Con Air
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Admiring - Con Air
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Touch - City of Angels
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Big knife - Moonstruck
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Bad Man - Gone in Sixty Seconds
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Thanks - Gone in Sixty Seconds
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Next hundred years
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What a predicament
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Suck my tongue
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A way to trap him
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Boning your wife
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Face cut off
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Fresh tactics
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Government job
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Hate to see you go
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Interception
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Lot of changes
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Peach
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Plan B
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What a predicament
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250 Million
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Dead
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Big Deal
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Foot Massage
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The Shot
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Say Good Night And Go Home
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Gay Guy
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Grease - Greased Lightning
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Idea
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The nukes
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Ticking
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Weapons
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Scotland is free!
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The trouble with Scotland
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Are ya allright
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Dressed up for nothing
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Get me out of this mess
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I didn't like him
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I want to marry you
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Learn
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Love you my whole life
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Now bleed with me!
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Ready for a war!
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Strength
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Tell your king
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They fought like Scotsmen
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Your heart is free
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Never see little Johnny again
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I want it back
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Kill Carter
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70 Grand
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Getting misty
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$130,000
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My money
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Address
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Aren't listening
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Arthur Stegman
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Call Bronson
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Coming to get you
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Deliver the money
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Didn't make his delivery
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Drive
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Few months off
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Got your crotch
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Gunshot
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Is that a yes
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Know what I mean
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Let you know
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Looking for a girl
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More receptive
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Named Rosie
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Need a favor
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No
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Nobody knows
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Porter
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Rosie
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Safe work environment
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Same as always
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Take a guess
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Trouble
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What's the matter
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Where he might be
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Where is he
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Worry about me
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Wrong answer
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Yeah good
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You can't
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You
Free
Crazy
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Enjoy it
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Eat some fruit (Signs)
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Awesome
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I win
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Every Sensation
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Free Will
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Fuckin' Chump
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Got me
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Too Cocky
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Kidding
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20th Century
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My Time
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Step it up
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Behold
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Door to door
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FBI Agent
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Relax
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Rock n roll
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Sorry Johnny
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You bother me
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Alright, how about a shave
Free
They all deserve to die
Free
I will have vengance
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If you'll indulge me
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Hole called London
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You might find me
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My arm is complete again
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Welcome to the grave
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Have mercy on me
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Years changed me
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Accept my challenge
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Concocted from piss and ink
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I had him
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I might come home
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Opened a bottle of elixir
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No match
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Come and visit
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$50,000
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100% pure Columbian cocaine
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Do you want to do the honors
Free
I brought you 75 instead
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I figured it out
Free
I'm stoned
Free
We'd like to buy some pot
Free
What do you know about cocaine
Free
Oh bugger
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Pleasure of your carbuncle
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The rum
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Singapore
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Oi, fishface!
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Yo ho!
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Speaking cannibals' language
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The Balck Pearl
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Any idea
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Bonnie lass
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Captain for two years
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Davy Jones
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Dear old Jack
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Dress
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Guard the boat
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I am truly unhappy
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I'll handle this
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Invitation
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Jar of dirt
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My compass
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Not good
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Pretty boat
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Any more questions
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Drawring of a key
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Easy on the goods darling
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HAH
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Im Captain Jack Sabby
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Madness or Brilliance
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No
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Set Heading
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Sticks and Stones love
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The day you Almost caught
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Your not making any sense
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Keep telling yourself that
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Drug collection
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Barstow
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Decision to flee
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Devil Ether
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Drive at top speed
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Finish the fucking story!
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Golf shoes
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Incredible
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Like a bunny
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More helpless and irresponsible
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Screw that bear
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Take a hit
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Wait
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What the hell...
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Come to join me crew
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Everything you said to me
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No worries mates
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Have you noticed
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Is this a dream
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Thief! Little hairy thief
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Time's run out
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Walk the plank
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What did the bird say
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Why is the rum always gone
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You won't be able to resist
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Wouldn't that be a sight (Troy)
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Is there No one Else
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"Hector the fool"
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Kings to far Behind to see
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Come to daddy (Mr Smith)
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She tried to kill me
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What's The Target?
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Fight Club Invaded
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Bitch Tits
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Who Do You Think You Are?!?!
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Talking On the Plane
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Primary Charges
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Big Rubbery One
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Going to do one thing
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Getting a whack
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100 Nazi scalps
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A Nazi ain't got no humanity
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Business is a boomin
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Cruel to the German
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Eat a sauerkraut sandwich
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Find the evidence
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German will fear us
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Go home
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I need me 8 soldiers
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Intimidation and terror
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Oblige him
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Something you can't take off
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Sound good
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We're all tickled
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We're going to be dropped into France
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Yes, yes, yes
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A Name That Stuck
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Eyes forward
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Hitler flips out
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Tell how many
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That of a rat
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The Basterds
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Basement
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One question
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Sounds like shit
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Styx
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War
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Trojan
Free
Forgotten
Free
Lions
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Names
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No one
Free
Remember
Free
Row
Free
Sword
Free
Who
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Wolves
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Ummmm, bitch
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4 thumbs down
Free
Black Gallagher
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Playa Hater
Free
Free crack?
Free
The Time-Haters
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I'm Rick James
Free
Samuel L. Jackson Beer
Free
Fat girls
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Osama Bin Laden?
Free
Lil' Jon - What!?
Free
I'm rich bitch!
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Tyrone - Is anthrax bad?
Free
Half Baked - I love weed
Free
Help!
Free
Mama!
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My father is a drug dealer
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I don't do drugs
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Smoke A Lot - Get away from me biatch
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Lots of skeet
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Affirmative
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Bye nigga
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Callin
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Can't hear you
Free
Popsicles
Free
Skeet skeet skeet
Free
Stranger
Free
Im Rick James Bitch 3
Free
Sex with Charlie
Free
Charlie Murphy
Free
Cocaine
Free
Darkness 1
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Darkness 2
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Drink up
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Hold my drink
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Sorry Charlie
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Tables turned
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Laugh
Free
Slap
Free
Party tonight
Free
White House
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Good riddance
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White hair
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Vladimir Putin
Free
Touch you
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Tell your brother
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Say it all the time
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Rocket
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Perfectly reasonable
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Not once but twice
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Evil doers
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Everybody loves you
Free
Drugs and alcohol
Free
Don't touch it
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Don't do it again
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Do it well
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Delay
Free
Consequences
Free
Come together
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All bad
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Brownie doing heck of the job
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Fool me once
Free
Help Me Pick My Lettuce
Free
Nuclear Power Pants
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TotaTotalatarians
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Encourages Consumption
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Whatever
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Extremist Folks
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MisUnderestimated
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Not 1 doubt in my mind
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If you dont stand for anything
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Groundwork Framework
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Pop into my Head
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Restore Chaos
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Secretarian Violence
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Terriers and Bears
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We have got to Arness
Free
George W. Bush
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Be on my team
Free
Call Andy
Free
Documents
Free
Don't mess with Texas
Free
Don't stay up too late
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Humans and Fish
Free
George W.
Free
Very interesting question
Free
Truth
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That's a fact
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That is your right
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Thank you
Free
Talked to my Dad
Free
Oppose
Free
Let me say something
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Let me down again
Free
In other words
Free
Heat got on
Free
I hope you pray
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I'm clear
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aint-shit
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blam
Free
complicated-shit
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damn-fries
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have-number
Free
motherfuckers
Free
The power of the dark side
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I am your father
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Chewbacca roar
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Don't upset a wookie
Free
900 years
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Strong with the force
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Afraid?
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Darth Vader breathing
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Lightsabers
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Set for stun
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I have you now
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Don't fail me again
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Treated unfairly
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Don't get cocky
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Welcome
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Dr. Evil
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Failure
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Friggin Bone
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People
Free
Scrotum
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Pre-emptive Shhh
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www.Shhh.com.org
Free
30 Fricken' Years
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One simple request
Free
Why Make Trillions
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MiniMe
Free
I'm with it, I'm hip.
Free
One Million Dollars
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Talk to the Hand
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Evil Laugh
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Riiiiiiiiigt
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The Ref - Gus (Dennis Leary)
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The Rock - John Patrick Mason
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This Boy's Life - Dwight Hansen
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I love gold
Free
Isn't That Weird?
Free
I Have a Dutch Accent
Free
smoke pancake
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Anything Stupid
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Iron Dick
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KC And The Sunshine Band
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Austin Powers and Father
Free
Dutch Hater
Free
He is Small
Free
It Is Time to Say Goodbye
Free
Like a Macho Man
Free
Smarty Pants
Free
That Was Good
Free
Tight Like a Tiger
Free
Quit amphetamines
Free
Quit drinkin
Free
Quit smokin
Free
Grown man naked
Free
Sniffin glue
Free
Turkish prison
Free
Dick
Free
God creates dinosaurs
Free
That is one big pile
Free
The pirates don't eat the tourists
Free
T-Rex screams
Free
You're implying
Free
Horse Feathers - Wagstaff
Free
The Blackadder - Baldrick
Free
Casino - Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci)
Free
Roxanne - C.D. Bales
Free
Full Metal Jacket - Sgt. Hartman
Free
Gooood
Free
Force is strong
Free
You will be destroyed
Free
Powerful sith
Free
The Palpatine song
Free
Power of the dark side
Free
Kill him now
Free
So be it Jedi
Free
I am the senate
Free
Anakin
Free
Are you threatening me
Free
Become my
Free
Can't hold it
Free
Count Dooko
Free
Cut off your arm
Free
Discover the secret
Free
Do it
Free
Don't kill me
Free
Fulfilling your destiny
Free
I told you
Free
I was right
Free
If we work together
Free
It's treason
Free
Kill him
Free
No time
Free
No..no..no..
Free
Only natural
Free
Remember what you told me
Free
Sandpeople
Free
You did well
Free
You will die
Free
Young fool
Free
Your mother
Free
Vader Calls Palpatine - Parody
Free
Point that thing
Free
Good idea
Free
Hear real good
Free
Size of that thing
Free
Foul Stench
Free
I don't care
Free
Pull out in time
Free
Here it goes
Free
Kickin' my ass
Free
Below the belt
Free
Bastard
Free
Thanksgiving turkey
Free
Yo Fletcher
Free
No stems no seeds
Free
Are you gonna get busted
Free
Most acid
Free
Born In East LA
Free
We're smokin
Free
Fifteen bucks
Free
Anti-christ
Free
Are we cross
Free
Arrest us today
Free
Defile myself
Free
Don't shake hands
Free
I suppose I'm deranged
Free
I want your blood
Free
Ignorant wretch
Free
I'm your huckleberry
Free
Isn't that a daisy
Free
Smells like someone died
Free
Thought you weren't my friend
Free
You die first
Free
You gonna do something
Free
You're a daisey
Free
Biscuits for sale
Free
Stories your mama told me
Free
Kill my mother
Free
Two good whacks
Free
Good Lord wouldn't send
Free
Do over again
Free
Chance to grow up
Free
Bible says
Free
Big uns
Free
Bill Cox
Free
Care about you
Free
Do you understand
Free
Don't mean I don't care
Free
Four years
Free
French fries taters
Free
Fun sometime
Free
Told me I'm well
Free
Good to eat
Free
How much you want
Free
I'm your boy
Free
Alright then
Free
Jerry
Free
Kill Jesse for
Free
Killed my brother
Free
Wanna be baptized
Free
Learn to read some
Free
Like taters
Free
Like to eat
Free
Make me biscuits
Free
Mustards good on
Free
Nervous hospital
Free
No ma'am
Free
Not done
Free
Oldest boy
Free
Read the bible
Free
State hospital
Free
Take notion
Free
Yes ma'am
Free
Poor black child
Free
This color?
Free
Wanna sing some blues?
Free
See a doctor
Free
How far you goin?
Free
Beautiful little place
Free
Damn these glasses!
Free
I'll guess your weight
Free
What a great place!
Free
Cup O'Pizza
Free
She looks just like you...
Free
I don't need my dog
Free
Big gun
Free
Goodyear
Free
Poopy Pants
Free
Ankle Bracelet
Free
Drugs
Free
Cops & women
Free
Nice Beaver
Free
Magnificent office
Free
Investigating
Free
Missing evidence
Free
No way
Free
Nordburg
Free
She's gone
Free
Side of your mouth
Free
Cows have come home
Free
Dead or Alive
Free
20 seconds
Free
Ass is mine
Free
Bad Motherfucker
Free
Creep
Free
Crime happening
Free
Disappointed
Free
Dollar
Free
Don't like cops
Free
Fix
Free
I like it
Free
Murphy
Free
Trouble
Free
You wanna live forever
Free
You're fired
Free
Are you not entertained
Free
My name is Gladiator
Free
Already dead
Free
Am I not merciful?
Free
Born
Free
Change
Free
Conquering hero
Free
Has been slain
Free
Dead men
Free
Afraid
Free
Bath
Free
Maximus Desmus Meriduis
Free
Die with honor
Free
Don't die
Free
Dying
Free
Experience
Free
After life
Free
Man for the people
Free
Brother
Free
Dying of plague sire
Free
Farmer
Free
Frost
Free
Go to them
Free
He touched me
Free
History
Free
How long does it take?
Free
I am a slave
Free
Kill your name
Free
Loyal subjects
Free
Missed it
Free
More powerful
Free
Murdered son and wife
Free
Not a moral man
Free
Unleash hell
Free
They will love him
Free
Pleasant fiction
Free
Queer giraffes
Free
Required to kill
Free
Salute you
Free
You are giant
Free
Strength and honor
Free
Won't die
Free
Time will come
Free
Together
Free
We are free
Free
We have to fight
Free
Smile at his own death
Free
Who is he?
Free
Win the crowd
Free
Gen. Meridius
Free
eternity
Free
Location
UK
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